Show Up and Observe

Presence matters. As men of Illuman we care to be present to Presence. In an ancient tale, a disciple asks his teacher where he should look for the truth about life. “Here and now, in simple ordinary ways,” he is told. “Then why don’t I see it?” he asks in frustration. “Because,” replies the Holy One, “you are mostly somewhere else.” We get distracted too easily, regretting what was or fretting over what is yet to be. Being present requires intention and practice.

Storytelling and story-listening are two halves of a life-giving art. Both are crucial in any relationship. In ancient China, we’re told, there were two friends—one who played the harp with exquisite attentiveness and skill, and another who listened with equal attentiveness and skill. When the one played or sang about a mountain stream, the other would exclaim, “Yes, I can hear it now splashing over the rocks!” Their playing and listening were part of a dance they shared together. But after a time the listener fell sick and died. In grief, the first friend cut the strings of his harp, unable to play anymore. To this day in China, the cutting of harp strings is a sign of intimate friendship.

For Illuman men, connecting is one of the five touchstones we want to advocate as being a necessary component in all aspects of our work, from the Journey of Illumination to our Chapter events like the MROP, Movie Nights, or Retreats, and from how we meet communally to our one-on-one relationships. We want the five touchstones to permeate all aspects of our communities.

To release ourselves from our enslavement to past events or addictive patterns of thoughts or feelings is an ongoing, necessary transformative work in the task of maturity. The word “release” has its root in the Latin word relaxare which means “to stretch out again, to slacken.” This is the opposite of “to brace.” Many of us live with a braced approach to life; the brakes are on and we wonder why we are not moving forward! Everything stays the same. We find ourselves blaming everyone and everything for our “stuckness.” How can we change? “Let go of your old way of life, put aside your old self, which gets corrupted by following illusions” (Eph. 4:22).

Leo Tolstoy said through a character in What Men Live By, “I know now that people only seem to live when they care only for themselves…it is by love for others that they really live. He who has Love has God in him, and is in God—because God is Love.” Certainly, a circle drawn too close to the body is too small for love. Love always extends our borders and boundaries beyond and beyond. This is partly why all Wisdom traditions invite us to move beyond the concern for the small me to the larger Other, found not only in God, but also in our neighbor and even in the more-than-human world. Like the Na’vi, in the epic film Avatar, we greet the entire world and all its inhabitants with, “I see you,” humbly acknowledging the other as one with us. Our boundaries are enlarged to include everyone and everything, and, in the process, love has its way with us.